How to Stop Procrastinating due to Fear of Failure
I’m sharing 5 tips to stop procrastinating so you can achieve your goals. Fear of failure may be the cause of your procrastination. Overcoming procrastination means we have to be truthful to ourselves and find the reasons WHY we are procrastinating the way we do.
I will be sharing 5 ways to stop procrastinating due to fear of failure.
If we have low self-esteem, chances are we procrastinate due to fear of failure. We associate mistakes with our value as a person.
In the video below, I will share with you how we can do a mindset shift about our perfectionistic thoughts and practical ways to stop procrastinating in our day-to-day lives.
What you will learn from this video:
The 1-hour rule to be productive
Overcoming perfectionistic thoughts + worksheet recommendation
Tackle the easy or difficult tasks first?
The best time to do your work
How not to be fearful of failing
If you are a perfectionist, the Pause Perfectionism cheatsheet + this overcome perfectionism article will be helpful when you are overwhelmed with perfectionistic thoughts and procrastinating.
Featured in this video:
3 Actions to Overcome Perfectionism
14 Days of Self-love. Create a self-loving mindset and live life on your own terms
Meanwhile, have a good week!
Shikah
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14 Activities to Build Your Self-esteem and Self-worth
I’ll be sharing 14 activities which will raise your self-esteem and make you feel worthy. For your convenience, you can download and print the list of 14 self-esteem activities for your own use!
A list of 14 self-esteem activities to build your self-worth and feel comfortable in your own skin.
I wish there is a shortcut to building self-esteem and realising our self-worth.
That was why I created this printable,14 Days of Self-Esteem. It will help to create feelings of self-worth for you.
For your easy reference, you can download and print the list of 14 self-esteem activities below:
You can read my article on 7 secrets to build self-esteem if you want more advice on this topic.
You can commit to the 14 activities for 14 days in a row or stretch out the 14 activities for 1 whole month (if you want to take things slow!).
Read on if you want to learn what the 14 self-esteem activities are.
14 Self-Esteem Activities to boost self-worth
Day 1: Name 3 people whose lives are made easier because of your presence
Day 2: Write 3 achievements you are proud of
Day 3: Write 10 strengths and talents that you have
Day 4: Write 3 compliments which make you feel good
Day 5: Ask a friend or loved one to name 3 strengths that you have
Day 6: Compliment a stranger (a tough one!)
Day 7: Have lunch or tea alone at a nice cafe. Enjoy your own company.
Day 8: Script your ideal life. Choose one goal which you really want to achieve. Grab your journal and write today’s entry as though you have achieved that goal. Write your feelings when you achieved it, the ups and downs you had to go through to achieve the goal. (It’s a fun exercise, promise!)
Day 9: Write your answer to this question: “If I have 100% high self-esteem, what would I be doing today?”
Day 10: Groom yourself. Give yourself a manicure, a pedicure, body scrub in the shower, shave, body cream- the whole shebang. Wear nice, clean clothes and spritz your favourite perfume.
Day 11: Make no plans today and trust your intuition to guide you on what to do today. (do things and go to places on a whim if you feel like it)
Day 12: Visualise achieving one goal that you want. Close your eyes and visualise in great, realistic detail. Just do this for 5 minutes. (if you can, visualise for at least 5 minutes everyday)
Day 13: Write 5 small achievements you’ve had today in your journal
Day 14: Think of 1 future goal which you want to achieve very much. Write “I know I can achieve ___(insert goal)___ because…” in your journal
For your convenience, you can download and print a copy of these 14 self-esteem activities below:
If you want to double up your self esteem, you can look at my 21 journal prompts to build self-esteem instantly.
I hope the above 14 self-esteem activities will be helpful for you.
Meanwhile, have a good week!
Shikah
Related self-esteem blog articles
(Free Printable) How to be Intentional and Feel Calm if you are very busy
I’m sharing 5 habits so you can practice intentional living even if you are very busy. Intentional living takes effort. To make it easier for you to practise intentional living everyday, you can adopt these 5 habits as soon as possible. You can feel relaxed and calm even if you have a busy lifestyle!
How to practice intentional living with these 5 habits even if you are very busy.
I love being intentional everyday. I make better choices, I am calmer and I am happier with my life in general.
But when we are busy, being intentional takes too much mental energy.
I am sharing 5 habits to help you practise intentional living as much as possible. Even if you are busy as heck.
If you are new-ish to intentional living, you can get a clearer idea with this Intro to Intentional Living blog post from SimplyFiercely.com.
If you like a more hands-on approach, you can check out my Top 7 intentional living worksheets you can download for free!
Let’s start learning the 5 habits of intentional living for busy babes like you.
Habit #1: Start with a clear mind in the mornings
This is so important.
“Yeah Shikah, but how do I keep a clear mind in the morning?” you ask.
Step 1: Ensure you have at least 7 hours of sleep at night.
Sorry, this sounds boring, I know. But when your mind is well-rested, your day becomes almost magical.
You are in a good mood, you take on work challenges like a pro and you even eat better food.
Step 2: Wake up 30 minutes earlier. And do any activity which calms your mind.
Some examples are:
Meditation (Jason Stephenson’s guided meditations on YouTube are good)
Listening to binaural beats on Spotify
Yoga (Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube is a good start)
Journaling
Going for a run
Sipping on a cup of coffee slowly and mindfully (with no gadgets around)
A clear mind is what stands in between having a mouth-watering, wholesome meal in the morning and grabbing a sugar-laden frappuccino for breakfast.
If you need 25 small ways to start intentional living, you can download my printable below:
Habit #2: Shake up your routine everyday
Some ideas are:
Try a new style of outfit. Wear a colour you’ve never worn before. (Pore over ‘best-dressed celebs’ lists for some ideas)
Try a new makeup technique. (Go to YouTube for inspiration!)
Run along a different route or take a different route to work.
Get coffee from a coffee place you’ve never tried before.
Have a meal at a cafe you’ve never been to before.
Listen to a genre of music you’ve never tried.
I think you get the drift.
If you are quite new to intentional living, you can get advice on 5 intentional habits for beginners in this blog post.
Habit #3: Journal 15 minutes before sleeping
I will admit that I am bad with this habit.
On some nights, it takes too much effort to reflect on my day (I just want to sleep!).
But…on the days that I journal before sleeping, I feel so good and in control of my life.
If you need ideas on how to start journaling a little a day, you can download my daily intentional planner below.
Habit #4: Do a tech detox 60 minutes before bedtime
I know many of us will struggle with this. But it’s life-changing, girls.
The first time I did a 60-minute tech detox at 930pm (I sleep around 1030pm each night), I was struggling to find things to do!
I will list down what you can do for 60 minutes without your phone or laptop:
Take a long, elaborate shower. With essential oils, scrubs, body masks and all.
Journal!
Read something. A newspaper, a book, a magazine, an Ikea catalogue (no joke).
Talk to your partner in person
Go exercise! Yoga or some stretching.
Visualisation. I have read that visualising for 10 minutes a day can manifest what you desire faster.
Lie down in bed and rest
Before you realise it, 60 minutes is up. This is when you tuck your phone away and go to bed.
(Warning: Don’t give in to the temptation to quickly scroll through your emails or messages! Leave that for tomorrow morning)
Habit #5: Plan every single day!
This habit sounds really obvious isn’t it?
But sometimes, days have gone by without me planning anything.
No elaborate planning is needed: just list 3 things you want to accomplish the following day.
I will advise you to plan your days the night before, not on the day itself.
Once we’ve listed the 3 priorities to accomplish the following day, we will sleep better.
And wake up all geared-up with a sense of purpose.
My last thoughts on intentional living if you are busy
Intentional living needs some effort.
In this blog post, I share 5 intentional living advice for beginners to help you kick start your intentional living journey.
If you want to take action immediately, you can download 25 simple ideas for intentional living which you can start today.
I believe that if we practise the 5 habits I shared in this blog post, we can be intentional on most days!
Share with me below: What are your challenges with intentional living?
Shikah
(Free Printable) How to Handle a Stressful Situation
I know there are some of us who ‘beat ourselves up’ when we make mistakes.
We get self-critical, unforgiving and start having unworthy thoughts when mistakes happen.
Hence, I’ve created a mindset worksheet here which helps you reframe your thoughts when you (or your child) experience something stressful.
I wrote this entry because I am surrounded by friends who are stressed.
My friends are working in high-flying jobs which take up a lot of their energy and time.
They have Sunday blues. Some go for short getaways almost every weekend to ‘escape’ the stress.
I know there are some of us who ‘beat ourselves up’ when we make mistakes.
We get self-critical, unforgiving and start having unworthy thoughts when mistakes happen.
I have a mindset worksheet here which helps you reframe your thoughts when you experience something stressful.
It’s helpful for that occasional time when you ‘screw up’, make mistakes and start having downward-spiralling thoughts.
4 Step-by-Step Actions to Handle a Stressful Situation
Our feelings are controlled by our thoughts.
To change unpleasant feelings to happier, more uplifting feelings, we need to change our thoughts.
How do we do that?
Not to worry, I’ve created the Pause Perfectionism Worksheet (click to download) to make it easier for you.
I named it Pause Perfectionism because self-critical thoughts are partly caused by perfectionism.
The above is an example of how to complete the Pause Perfectionism Worksheet.
You can download the Pause Perfectionism Worksheet below.
There are 4 sections to this worksheet and each section requires action from you.
Action Step 1: Pinpoint the Problem
What is the situation causing you to be self-critical?
You did not finish a project on time?
Your colleagues laughing or being critical of your idea during a meeting?
Your boss telling you your presentation was not up to standard?
Your client got angry because he or she was not satisfied with your work?
Your colleagues giving you ‘constructive feedback’ about your work?
Action Step 2: Acknowledge your Feelings about the situation
Be honest with yourself. (Don’t be in denial.)
Write down in the Feelings column if you feel ashamed, angry, hurt, vulnerable.
Some of us feel uncomfortable admitting that we feel ashamed and hurt.
If so, ask yourself: “Why am I uncomfortable admitting that I feel hurt/ embarrassed/ like a failure?”
Is it because you think admitting to your feelings is a sign of weakness?
On the contrary, it takes strength to be vulnerable in front of others and risk being seen as a wimp.
Action Step 3: What Self-critical Thoughts are causing those feelings?
Feelings are controlled by thoughts.
If you can reframe your thoughts, you can change your feelings. It sounds simple, but it’s not easy to do.
You have to dig deep and identify your perfectionistic thoughts linked to your feelings.
Write those self-critical thoughts in the Self-Critical Thoughts column.
For example:
“My superior thinks I’m lousy.”
“Can’t believe I’m making mistakes again. Very typical. Always making mistakes.”
“They didn’t give me that project because they don’t think I’m capable enough to handle it.”
“My superior praised me today because he was in a good mood - my work wasn’t that great.”
“I did my best, but it’s still not good enough. I’m incompetent. I think I’m the slowest worker in the office. Maybe my colleagues are talking about me behind my back! That is so embarrassing - I can’t face anyone like this.”
For me, I’ve always linked mistakes with being useless.
I was brought up thinking we have to be productive every single time, which is common for Asian cultures.
I hated being ‘useless’ or a deadweight anywhere.
I’ve come a long way in embracing my own self-worth which is still an ongoing journey for me.
But that’s another topic for another time.
Action Step 4: Replace those self-critical thoughts with New Forgiving Thoughts
Looking at matters from a big perspective helps.
If your boss said your presentation sucked, it could be that you were distracted by things happening in your personal life. Thus, you were not focused at work.
Or maybe you did a shoddy job because you were too busy to prepare the presentation at length. You said ‘yes’ to too many requests and had too much on your plate.
Maybe you did not get work done because you wanted it to be ‘perfect’. You were waiting for the ‘perfect’ time when you have all your materials ready before starting. Hence, you procrastinated.
It’s not because you are incompetent!
Or maybe...your boss was not in a good mood that day. ;)
Create new self-loving thoughts to replace those self-critical ones.
Some examples:
“Making mistakes is common. Even (insert competent colleague’s name) has made mistakes before. I can do a better job next time!”
“I’m being self-critical right now. Time to step back, take a few deep breaths and steady my thoughts.”
You should feel lighter, breathe easier and feel calmer after embracing those self-loving and forgiving thoughts.
Download the Pause Perfectionism Worksheet
To help you transform and be less harsh on yourself at work, you can download the Pause Perfectionism Worksheet I’ve prepared below.
Also, share this article with your friends and followers if you find this useful - and help them to handle stress too!
3 Key Self Care Habits to Treat Yourself Well
Self-care is not selfish.
It makes us a better wife, mother and employee. Treat yourself well and the people around you will get the benefits as well.
I know people who will cringe if I told them that I wanted to rest and do nothing today.
“Didn’t you just ‘do nothing’ last Monday?”
“What do you do on most days such that you need so much rest?”
“Why not do something useful?”
Well, taking care of myself is something useful.
But this is a concept that some women are still uncomfortable with.
Self-Care is not Selfish – it Makes Us a Better Employee, Wife, Mother
Being a new mother saps up a lot of my energy.
But, I notice that when I do certain activities such as the ones below, my energy skyrockets, I feel buzzed, I feel enthusiastic.
Your self-care list will look different from mine, but a snapshot of my self-care list is below:
- Meeting, chatting and laughing with my girlfriends
- Getting my hair done at a salon
- Getting my monthly 2-hour facials
- Taking my time to do my makeup (when I look good, I feel good)
- Publishing a satisfying blog post at 630am in the morning
- Having a nice, warm bath
- Reading a lighthearted chick-lit book
- Yoga at home (you can do a Youtube search for 'Yoga with Adrienne')
- A walk in nature with my little one
- Going for a date with my husband
You'll notice that you feel lighter and even have a small smile on your face.
And you have enthusiasm out of nowhere after doing activities which make you feel so darn good.
Much of the tiredness we feel is mental stress. (70,000 thoughts running through our minds everyday. Over-thinkers have it worse)
So, after looking after our minds and bodies, we'll be recharged enough to perform our duties - better than before.
So self-care is not selfish.
3 Key Self Care Habits to Treat Yourself Well
1. Self-Care and Social Media
We spend way too much time on IG and Facebook.
So be mindful of people you are 'friends' with and people you 'follow' on these platforms.
All of us definitely have a Facebook 'friend' or two who likes to criticise others on their 'wall', have sinister motives of being 'friends' with you or people who like to not-so-humble brag ;)
If you feel irritated with their posts, just 'unfollow' them (or 'unfriend' if you want to get drastic).
You are supposed to have fun on social media, not feel down.
Actually, a touch of 'bragging' - just a touch - of your achievements on Facebook or IG can give you great esteem-like feelings.
It might even inspire your friends.
Some posts will also trigger insecurities and make you compare yourself with that person.
Similarly, unfollow or unfriend. :)
You can 'follow' or re'friend' that person once you are in a better mental space to handle other people who have lives that you envy.
Oh, and do remember that the perfect pictures we see on IG take a lot of curation.
Posing, snapping a hundred shots to get a good one, climbing up on a chair to take a flatlay snap, juggling the iPhone in an awkward position to get that perfect shot....
The picture looks perfect, but I'll bet the behind-the-scenes situation is not.
What does this mean?
A person's seemingly perfect life on social media is maybe just 30% of what is going on in their real lives.
I'm not saying that everyone has a terrible life.
But everyone has her own unique circumstances and unique problems.
So there is no point envying another person's IG feed. ;)
2. Self-care for Bad Feelings
When we feel sad, hurt or angry, some of us choose to suppress those feelings or ignore them.
Well, the feelings will go away faster if we sit with them.
What this means is...
- we acknowledge that we are feeling hurt at that time
- allowing ourselves to sink into that feeling (warning: it feels awful)
- cry if you want to
- it might take a week or as fast as 3 minutes for the feeling to dissipate
The point is not to ignore your 'bad' feelings or be in denial. The first step to change is to admit that we have an issue.
Also, notice if you are distracting yourself by indulging in excessive eating, shopping and surfing the Net.
3. Self-Care in Under 10 minutes
If you need a quick self-care break, you can do the following:
- go out and take a walk to clear your mind
- watch an inspirational video on Youtube
- take a quick shower
- apply a few drops of your favourite essential oil on your wrists and collarbone and enjoy its scent.
- phone a trusted person for a chat
- some stretching exercises
- 'coffee meditation' : make a good cup of coffee, sit somewhere alone and savour the aroma and every sip. With no phones, no TV, no books nearby.
- plan a trip somewhere
- plan a surprise party for a friend / family member
- nap
- meditate
- surf a website or forum that you enjoy
- look up for recipes which you would enjoy cooking that day
- do something nice for a loved one
- research on a new restaurant you can try this weekend
The above is a simple checklist.
But if you try any of the above activities (which resonate with you), it should lift your mood and recharge you.
Sometimes we forget that life is wonderful when we feel good.
We are used to being told that 'life is hard', 'no pain, no gain', 'we must endure things we hate' (why though??), 'we must serve ALL our clients even those who don't appreciate us', and the constant 'we should do this...', ' we must do that...'.
Our emotions are our compass in life.
If we feel bad or lousy doing something, chances are, we should be doing something else.
I like to remind people that you are good the way you are. Listening to your sister rant about the bad day she had or helping your mother with something gives them the emotional support they need.
"Just for a while, be open to the possibility that there is nothing wrong with you." - Cheri Huber
See you in the next article.