3 Key Self Care Habits to Treat Yourself Well
I know people who will cringe if I told them that I wanted to rest and do nothing today.
“Didn’t you just ‘do nothing’ last Monday?”
“What do you do on most days such that you need so much rest?”
“Why not do something useful?”
Well, taking care of myself is something useful.
But this is a concept that some women are still uncomfortable with.
Self-Care is not Selfish – it Makes Us a Better Employee, Wife, Mother
Being a new mother saps up a lot of my energy.
But, I notice that when I do certain activities such as the ones below, my energy skyrockets, I feel buzzed, I feel enthusiastic.
Your self-care list will look different from mine, but a snapshot of my self-care list is below:
- Meeting, chatting and laughing with my girlfriends
- Getting my hair done at a salon
- Getting my monthly 2-hour facials
- Taking my time to do my makeup (when I look good, I feel good)
- Publishing a satisfying blog post at 630am in the morning
- Having a nice, warm bath
- Reading a lighthearted chick-lit book
- Yoga at home (you can do a Youtube search for 'Yoga with Adrienne')
- A walk in nature with my little one
- Going for a date with my husband
You'll notice that you feel lighter and even have a small smile on your face.
And you have enthusiasm out of nowhere after doing activities which make you feel so darn good.
Much of the tiredness we feel is mental stress. (70,000 thoughts running through our minds everyday. Over-thinkers have it worse)
So, after looking after our minds and bodies, we'll be recharged enough to perform our duties - better than before.
So self-care is not selfish.
3 Key Self Care Habits to Treat Yourself Well
1. Self-Care and Social Media
We spend way too much time on IG and Facebook.
So be mindful of people you are 'friends' with and people you 'follow' on these platforms.
All of us definitely have a Facebook 'friend' or two who likes to criticise others on their 'wall', have sinister motives of being 'friends' with you or people who like to not-so-humble brag ;)
If you feel irritated with their posts, just 'unfollow' them (or 'unfriend' if you want to get drastic).
You are supposed to have fun on social media, not feel down.
Actually, a touch of 'bragging' - just a touch - of your achievements on Facebook or IG can give you great esteem-like feelings.
It might even inspire your friends.
Some posts will also trigger insecurities and make you compare yourself with that person.
Similarly, unfollow or unfriend. :)
You can 'follow' or re'friend' that person once you are in a better mental space to handle other people who have lives that you envy.
Oh, and do remember that the perfect pictures we see on IG take a lot of curation.
Posing, snapping a hundred shots to get a good one, climbing up on a chair to take a flatlay snap, juggling the iPhone in an awkward position to get that perfect shot....
The picture looks perfect, but I'll bet the behind-the-scenes situation is not.
What does this mean?
A person's seemingly perfect life on social media is maybe just 30% of what is going on in their real lives.
I'm not saying that everyone has a terrible life.
But everyone has her own unique circumstances and unique problems.
So there is no point envying another person's IG feed. ;)
2. Self-care for Bad Feelings
When we feel sad, hurt or angry, some of us choose to suppress those feelings or ignore them.
Well, the feelings will go away faster if we sit with them.
What this means is...
- we acknowledge that we are feeling hurt at that time
- allowing ourselves to sink into that feeling (warning: it feels awful)
- cry if you want to
- it might take a week or as fast as 3 minutes for the feeling to dissipate
The point is not to ignore your 'bad' feelings or be in denial. The first step to change is to admit that we have an issue.
Also, notice if you are distracting yourself by indulging in excessive eating, shopping and surfing the Net.
3. Self-Care in Under 10 minutes
If you need a quick self-care break, you can do the following:
- go out and take a walk to clear your mind
- watch an inspirational video on Youtube
- take a quick shower
- apply a few drops of your favourite essential oil on your wrists and collarbone and enjoy its scent.
- phone a trusted person for a chat
- some stretching exercises
- 'coffee meditation' : make a good cup of coffee, sit somewhere alone and savour the aroma and every sip. With no phones, no TV, no books nearby.
- plan a trip somewhere
- plan a surprise party for a friend / family member
- nap
- meditate
- surf a website or forum that you enjoy
- look up for recipes which you would enjoy cooking that day
- do something nice for a loved one
- research on a new restaurant you can try this weekend
The above is a simple checklist.
But if you try any of the above activities (which resonate with you), it should lift your mood and recharge you.
Sometimes we forget that life is wonderful when we feel good.
We are used to being told that 'life is hard', 'no pain, no gain', 'we must endure things we hate' (why though??), 'we must serve ALL our clients even those who don't appreciate us', and the constant 'we should do this...', ' we must do that...'.
Our emotions are our compass in life.
If we feel bad or lousy doing something, chances are, we should be doing something else.
I like to remind people that you are good the way you are. Listening to your sister rant about the bad day she had or helping your mother with something gives them the emotional support they need.
"Just for a while, be open to the possibility that there is nothing wrong with you." - Cheri Huber
See you in the next article.